Rambling About.. Carol Wyer's Life Swap

Title: Life Swap Author: Carol Wyer Publication: 22 April 2016 -- Bookouture (thanks for the early read through NetGalley!) Amazon Description: Handsome prince, beautiful house, fabulous job? Polly has none of these. All she has to her name is a string of failed relationships and she’s up to her ears in debt. She sees herself as a hopeless case and would do anything to change her luck.  Simon is approaching the big 50. He’s off his game at work, his kids don’t seem to notice he exists and his wife seems to think he’s made of money. As for sex …what’s that?  So when the opportunity comes for both of them to swap their lives for a life of luxury, they jump at the chance. For Simon a life of helicopters, fast cars and hot babes beckons. For Polly, it’s all diamonds, spa days and celebrity parties. What more could they want?  Trouble is, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Is life in the fast lane more than either of them can cope with?

First Lines: Simon Green was drowning in a large vat of fluffy white marshmallows. He flailed beneath the killer's powerful hands, which were forcing him deeper into the gooey, vanilla depths, each marshmallow stifling his ragged breaths and blocking his respiratory passages.

Favorites on 4s: 
4% - Polly MacGregor had been an angel for an entire week and hated every moment of it. It wasn't that she was a bad angel; she was simply not a very good one.
14% - "My eyes are the colour of old white knickers that have been washed too many times. My face is too round and my nose is crooked. If I look in the mirror and don't like what I say, how can I expect anyone else to like me?"
34% - "Many a man has lost his senses when it comes to a comely wench with big bazongas."
54% - The situation was peculiar and her cut instinct was to walk away from it.
64% - His conscience was muffled by the throbbing sound of blood pulsating in his brain. Mutely, he allowed himself to be led to the bedroom by this seductive woman he barely knew.
74% - "There's more to life than big houses, dumb pink cars and having loads of dough."

Ramble:
Now, this is where I would normally give a little bit of a "this is what it's about ... this is what I liked ... this is what I didn't like ... blah blah blah ...."

I just can't.
It's so twisty and turny and full of "WHAT the *$&#%?!?" that my brain just isn't functioning properly.

Yeah, I loved the main characters ... except for when I didn't ...
and the plot was sweet/disturbing/touching/hilarious/terrifying ... except for when it wasn't.

I know!!!!

It's like chick lit a la Christopher Moore...
(except for when it's not.)

Do yourself a favor and go to Amazon and hit the order button on Life Swap. I know, it doesn't come out until the endish of April but if you pre-order it now then it will automatically show up on your Kindle (or app) then and you can read it and thank me. (Added bonus: it's only 99 cents. Believe me ... I would be telling you to go pre-order it if it was 5 times that!)