You Suck by Christopher Moore (Tuesday Intros & Teaser Tuesday)

If you have any issues with "questionable" language 

and/or vampires and/or absurdity ...

click on out of here now and go on your 

merry little way back to wherever it is you

came from. This is your warning.

Really.

There are "bad words" in Christopher Moore's books.

And vampires (in some of them, anyway).

And absurdity galore.

Therefore, the teasers in this post will also have those things.

I will delete any comment that complains.

(I will then pity the complainers for missing out as

Moore is likely my favorite male author. Ever.)

You've been warned.

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Amazon Description

Being undead sucks. Literally.

Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues.

But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

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This is your final warning.

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"First Chapter First Paragraph Tuesday Intros" is from the first paragraph or two of a book being read now (or in the future) and is hosted by Bibliophile by the Sea. "Teaser Tuesday" at The Purple Booker asks for a random line or two from anywhere in the book currently being read.